Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Bequest

This is my first attempt at [Fiction] Friday. I'm surprised at the way this piece developed; it's very dialogue-heavy and dialogue is not my strength. Overall, I'm please with it as a first draft with no editing.

“What did the lawyer say?” Mark asked as soon as Dianna closed her phone.

Dianna swiped her eyes and swallowed hard. “Everything’s mine.”

“Everything?” Mark swallowed the whoop that burbled in his throat. “Your uncle left everything to you?”

Dianna turned to her purse on the counter and began to sort through it. “Yes.”

“That’s great, honey.” Mark bounced on the balls of his feet. “Now we can get married. We have a house and…well, whatever else he had.”

“My uncle’s dead. That’s not great.”

Mark froze, then moved to Dianna’s side. “Of course not, hon. That’s not what I meant.”

Dianna kept rummaging through her purse. “I know what you meant.” She pulled out a key. “Well, I’ll be back soon.”


“I’m going over there to see what’s in the house. I’m sure there are some things to deal with there.”

Dianna moved toward the door. Mark caught her arm and pulled her into a hug.

“I’ll go with you. You shouldn’t be alone now.”

“Sure. Okay.”

In the car, Mark continued to list off plans for the future weeks. Dianna sighed.

“Mark,” she said, “we need to talk about my inheritance. Uncle Mort was…unusual. He was always experimenting, trying to improve nature. I don’t know what we’ll find at his house. You need to be prepared for odd things.”

“Like what?”

“Well, one year he bred a vegetarian tiger. Seemed like a good idea, except the tiger required an entire lawn for each meal to get enough nutrients to live. His experiments always seemed right, but nothing ended up working out.”

Mark pulled the car to the curb and turned toward Dianna. “There’s a tiger at your uncle’s house?”

“Not anymore. He died a couple of years ago. But I’m not sure what will be there.”

“Tell me more about these experiments.” Mark pulled the car back into traffic.

Dianna sighed again. “Not always experiments. Sometimes inventions. Once he made a collar that helped dogs understand human speech.”

“That’s great!”

“You’d think so. But dogs seem to find it difficult to understand humor or exaggeration or symbolic language. Misinterpretations led to injuries, some serious.”


“Once Uncle Mort mused that he was so hungry he could eat a horse. His dogs attacked a police mount. That was one of the lesser incidents, as I understand.”


Mark pulled the car into the long drive and parked in front of the house. They both looked up at the towering structure.

Dianna opened the door. “You can wait here. I—”

“No! I’m not letting you go into that house alone. Who knows what dangerous things are in there. No, I’m coming.”

Mark jerked open his door and strode around the car to meet her. Together they walked up the steps. Dianna unlocked the door and they entered.

“Housekeeper has been coming in, keeping things tidy,” Dianna remarked.

They walked among wires and gears, machines large and small. Mark turned toward the kitchen and Dianna moved into the office. She began thumbing through files, looking for bills and correspondence.

“Six months.”

Dianna turned toward the kitchen. “What did you say?”

“Nothing,” Mark called back.

She turned back to the work.

“Six months. I just need to wait six months.”

“Stop that!”

“After six months this can be mine and—”

“I said, ‘Stop!’”

Dianna couldn’t believe her ears. Mark was arguing with himself. Both voices were his. She quietly moved toward the kitchen.

“Dianna will disappear. I’ll inherit, sell this place, head to the islands.”

“I’ll wring your scrawny neck when I catch you, bird brain.”

Dianna rounded the corner to see Mark chasing a blue and yellow parrot around the room. The parrot fluttered toward her and landed on her shoulder.

“This is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen,” said the parrot. Dianna started. The parrot sounded like her. Not only was it her voice, but it was just what she was thinking when the parrot landed on her.

Mark stopped. “That bird!” he said. “What’s the deal with that bird?”

“I don’t know,” said Dianna.

The parrot spoke in Dianna’s voice again. “He’s gone crazy. What could that bird have done to him?”

“It sounds like you,” Mark said.

“A minute ago it sounded like you.” Dianna cocked her head. “Hmm. Let me try something.” She paused and furrowed her brow.

“Chocolate cake with sprinkles. Vanilla ice cream on the side.” The parrot’s Dianna voice echoed through the kitchen.

Dianna smiled. “The parrot said what I was thinking.”

“Absurd.” Mark began to back away.

“I think you should leave now,” Dianna said. “And don’t call me again. Just be gone.”

“But, Dianna,” Mark said.

“The wedding’s off. The wedding’s off,” The parrot sang.

When Mark didn’t move, Dianna showed him the pistol from the office. “Leave now. Or I’ll move the parrot close to you.”

Mark turned and walked from the house. Dianna heard the car screech away.

“I know what you’re thinking,” the parrot said. “I agree. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”


  1. Welcome to Fiction Friday. I'm somewhat of a noobie myself.

    I like your piece. Clever build up to what the couple would find in Dianna's uncle's house. There's lots of room for continuing or beefing up this story. I like the unexpected twist: finding out that Mark was an underhanded potential murderer.

  2. I liked it. I enjoy dialogue heavy pieces and yours worked well.

  3. Welcome to Fiction Friday! I love this story; it had me laughing all the way through.

  4. This is quirky and very funny. The unusual experiments and inventions added a great touch of humour.
    I liked how the parrot could voice the innermost thinkings of the character, allowing for a very awkward moment.
    Welcome to Fiction Friday. There is plenty of space in the sandpit for lots more people.

  5. You cope well with the dialogue and it seems very natural and realistic throughout. I think you've managed to inject a good balance of levity into the story without going overboard and it balances out the serious nature of twist.